Extraordinary items - Actuary, he's a gangster.

The list of directors in the Friends Provident conversion circular ?(an exciting, densely-packed 88-pager dispatched to policy-holders as part ?of the demutualisation process) contains a cheap laugh at the actuarial ?profession - and cheap laughs at actuaries are a vital part of any ?chartered accountant's professional ethic.

Listed is a Mr Graham Aslet who, as a graduate with a master's degree and ?a fellow of the Institute of Actuaries, carries the letters MA FIA after ?his name. This gives us the opportunity to remind readers of the ?difference between a British actuary and a Sicilian actuary: a British ?actuary will tell you how many people are expected to die next year; a ?Sicilian actuary will give you their names and addresses.

By the way, do you want the best-ever definition of an actuary? Someone ?who expects you to be dead on time.