EXTRAORDINARY ITEMS

Return To Sender

We may in the past have given the impression that the Inland Revenue is full of a bunch of evil bloodsuckers who are capable of striking fear into the heart of the average stone. We now realise that nothing, in fact, could be further from the truth.
One of our staffers has just got caught up with his tax returns, and has been told by the Revenue that he paid #2.20 too little tax in 1995-96.
“Do not propose collecting this small underpayment,” says the note on the assessment. It’s a miracle …

Wedded bliss? Give it a miss

Can anyone explain what’s going on? Or rather, not going on? Here’s the (lack of) form card, the multi-billion pound mergers that have suddenly been abandoned:
SmithKline Beecham and Glaxo Wellcome
E&Y and KPMG
Computer Associates and CSC
Reed Elsevier and Wolters Kluwer
At this rate, if the insurance industry merger between CU and GenAcc is consummated, we can only hope it doesn’t turn out to be an Accidental Union. (You’re demerged! – Ed)

You’ve been Emu?d

Financial Director chaired a debate at the Softworld in Accountancy & Finance exhibition at London’s Earls Court recently. Representatives from a number of mid-range accounting software suppliers discussed intranet systems, customer choice and Emu. As you can see from our sister title, Accountancy Age, the proceedings were disrupted by that more famous – and only slightly less troublesome – Emu, the one belonging to Rod Hull.
Fortunately, FD editor Andrew Sawers got off lightly compared with chat show star Michael Parkinson.

Play it agian, Archie

Archie Norman, chairman of Asda, MP for Tunbridge Wells and vice chairman of the Conservative party, found time to appear on Desert Island Discs. His top records were an eclectic mix including Flower of Scotland, David Bowie’s Heroes and a recording of Richard Burton reading The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.
So, two questions: (i) is he the first (former) FD to appear on Desert Island Discs? and (ii) what records should he have chosen – other than the Frank Sinatra hit, It Asda be You???