1. I’ve still got four months to find another job – one where I can blame my predecessor. 2. Strictly speaking, the 21st Century doesn’t start until 2001 – so what’s the rush? 3. All our receipts and invoice carbon copies are in a shoebox in the MD’s office – not an accounting software package in sight! 4. I’ve already set up the IT director as the fall guy. 5. So the computers will think it’s 1900 – heck, in 1900, we were still making big profits! 6. My company sells shelters, rifles and portable solar panel equipment to psychotic American survivalists. 7. Our parent company is headquartered in Tel Aviv – where the Hebrew year is already 5760. 8. Our 22-year-old IT director says that K=1024, so Y2K=2048 – so we’ve got 50 years to sort this out. 9. We’ve recruited one of New Labour’s Millennium Bug-Busters: tough on date changes, tough on the causes of date changes! 10. Our auditors say we’re okay.